Thats How its Done
by Hallifer777
Summary: Draco learned some muggle comebacks- and dosnt know the best times to use them...;   one shot


Draco strode confidently though the halls of Hogwarts, amazed at the new comebacks he heard during his trip to America. His eyes gleamed in excitement to try it out.

His head turned as he heard Potter walk in. 'Perfect' he grinned, strutting toward the frowning and obviously confused Gryffindor.

"Hey Potter What's up?" he snickered awaiting the response

Harry's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Why was Malfoy of all people talking to him. Sighing he replied

"Nothing much" he paused "What's it to you Malfoy?"

"Your moms a Malfoy!" He bellowed out proud of using his comeback and Potter's aghast face. Too soon it dawned on him.

"AW SICK! Merlin's beard! I didn't mean to say that!" Draco stuttered his eyes growing wider and slouching more and more away from the growing crowd of people.

Harry flinched back still shocked but forced a reply "Maybe you should go get some rest you don't seem well…." He trailed off. Avoiding eye contact as much as possible

Draco's responses came out too quickly for him to control- let alone realize what he had said. "Your mom doesn't seem well!"

"She's dead….."

"Your moms dead!"

Harry was beyond confused at the Slytherin he was making no sense! "We covered this…already."

It had been a year since the incident. The comeback was terribly hard to get rid off- terribly addicting! He had already told several other people various things like 'your moms a couch' ' your mom should get a haircut' and so on. But it all wasn't a waste; he had gotten Ron into saying it and had heard of what had happened when they got home.

He was in a fight with his sister and the whole time there mother was cooking- not ten feet away and then the girl Weasley had said Ron was an ugly pig. Then Ron said…well you can probably guess the rest.

The school got so hooked on saying it Dumbledore had to make a rule of no 'your mom's' jokes…probably for the best. Well the school using the comeback so much and what Draco had told the Headmaster.

Flashback

"Sir, what is the problem?" Draco sighed, boredly staring at the bearded ancient.

"You seem to be getting in a lot of fights lately." The way he said it- like a question…why do people always do that! I mean it's a statement, say it like it- im not a bloody three year old.

Draco settled for nodding instead of yelling, father would kill him if he got expelled and mother…now she would cry if I died and I don't want that to happen she gets all teary…

"The way you have been behaving lately is just so stupid and irrational- frankly Draco its just…do you young people say…gay?" The headmaster said scratching his head confusedly.

"Your moms Gay!"

Cold narrowed eyes found there way onto Draco- calculating his every move. Never in his life had Draco seen the Headmaster this way.

His voice was quiet but fierce enough to send chills down his spine "Certainly not if I was to be alive Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore said, careful of what words to chose "And the correct term is Lesbian."

Draco swallowed hard, glancing at the floor. "But of coarse! I didn't mean it! Who would choose that anyways!"

"You think it's a choice!" he gasped. Leaning back in his chair- eyes wide as saucers "My best friend is Gay!"

"I-

Dumbledore put up a silencing hand stopping the frantic boy, sighing he continued "It would be best if you would leave now Draco…"

flashback

But the new joke I had was beyond perfect…a bit like the other but good enough to slide past the rules and today was his day.

Draco sat calmly in the Slytherin dungeon awaiting the next classmate to walk in.

The person who walked in was Blaise Zabini…'so he would be my prey' Draco thought mischievously.

"Yo Blaise!" yo had been another phrase he had taken a liking in….yo it sounded elegant….royal even.

The 'prey' narrowed his eyes knowing far well that this was Draco's excited 'mischief face'.

"What?"

"Your mom-

"Is a what? You can't do that for what it makes no more sense then your couch bit with Pansy…you know when she tried to get you off your lazy and I quote lazy Slytherin but to pay attention to me."

Draco scoffed rolling his eyes "That girl" he sneered "-Will never learn! And I wasn't talking about that lame joke." Letting a smirk slide on his face he continued.

"Your mom is so stupid- she robbed a store and on her way out she called 911 to report the robbery!"

Blaise smirked matching his friends perfectly "Ya, ive heard of those…Draco- yo momma's so fat- when she goes to the movies she sits next to EVERYONE." His smile only widened, proud of his joke "And that's how its done!"

The blond Slytherin turned on his way out "Blaise….doesn't it smell like updog in here…?"

"What's up dog?" he frowned only falling for the trap

"Nothing much, how bout you?" Draco then proceeded to walk out the door leaving a shocked Blaise staring back.

"And that's how its done."


End file.
